A young Astoria man, Ryan Hooks, was killed Monday when an octopus disguised as a hat turned out to be a man-eating octopus and not a hat at all. "I was there delivering his Manic Monday special," said Janine Shue, his dedicated pizza delivery girl, "but when I rang the doorbell, all that answered was a headless torso. I think it was him, because he always wore those old stained Nikes. Maybe it wasn't him, though. I hope not. He was a good tipper." Blood tests later confirmed that Hooks was in fact the man in question. The octopus was not found.
Mourners will pay their respects to the headless torso this Wednesday at Chuck E. Cheese on 5th and 33rd.
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