Monday, January 11, 2010

Woman Dies from Pencil Wound in Heart

A New York woman, Janine Shue, 24, died painfully yesterday from what appears to be a pencil wound straight through her heart. She was brought into the county general hospital and shortly after pronounced dead from number 2 lead poisoning. A suspect is in custody, Ryan Hooks, who has issued the following statement: "That was a goddamn vampire."

Funeral arrangements are pending a prolonged custody battle between Janine's bitterly divorced parents.

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