Ryan Hooks, 28, a local Astoria resident and avid ant-farm haver, met with an untimely demise on Tuesday when his embarrassingly large collection of ant farms were destroyed and the ants stung and ate his body. Police are still uncovering evidence, but it appears at this point that a chain reaction set off a series of events that caused all of Hooks's 97 ant farms to fall over, releasing hungry, resentful ants into his home. Neighbor and apparently crazy person Janine Shue told the coroner's office to check for AIDS, claiming she just wanted to hear someone in her life utter the sentence "It's not AIDS; it's just ants."
Hooks will be laid to rest in a thin glass case covered in ants and dirt, as per his family's wishes.
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