Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Area Roommates Die Together, Alone

Astrophysicist Janine Shue and general layabout Ryan Hooks, were found dead in their shared apartment last week. The two were found clutching each other in what police call "A culty-like embrace." Detective Ezekial Ryland continued, "It was pretty gross. I mean, it was like a, what do you call 'em? Death thingy." When prompted with the word "cult," he replied, "Yeah, that." Their sobbing landlady confided that they had been a couple for years, but Ryland interrupted, "Them two? Please, lady. The guy is clearly gay."

Separate services will be held.

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