Astrophysicist Janine Shue and general layabout Ryan Hooks, were found dead in their shared apartment last week. The two were found clutching each other in what police call "A culty-like embrace." Detective Ezekial Ryland continued, "It was pretty gross. I mean, it was like a, what do you call 'em? Death thingy." When prompted with the word "cult," he replied, "Yeah, that." Their sobbing landlady confided that they had been a couple for years, but Ryland interrupted, "Them two? Please, lady. The guy is clearly gay."
Separate services will be held.
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