Los Angeles resident, Janine Shue, was found seemingly dead in her apartment after a long and noisy battle with ennui. Neighbors were sure she was finally dead and called the authorities who, upon viewing her body, confirmed her death. It was only when the body arrived at the morgue did someone notice her eyes open and noises coming out of her moving jaw. Coroner, Ryan Hooks, said, "We were stunned because, well, she is totally dead. I mean, look at her. That's dead." Despite the body's protestations that, no, it was still alive, and a brief but mostly feigned struggle, it was finally lain to rest in a local cemetery.
In lieu of flowers, the body has requested donations be made to "something that does things for people...I don't know. Yeah."
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